spinning my wheels waiting for summer

Wow what a weird spring it's been. I think I said that already but it bears repeating. I feel like I am falling behind planting wise stupid things keep slowing me down. I looked at the weather report yesterday and saw that more rain is coming later this week and it could be a couple of inches so I texted my husband tommy and said can you finish tilling the main bed before it rains so I can at least get everything in the ground? So after ignoring the text and making me beg for help he goes out to start the tiller and guess what no go. So he calls Falls Farm and says hey I need to drop off our tiller do you have one we can rent and of course they say yes but then we realize that his suv which the tiller fits in is in the shop so we have to wait until hopefully today to drop it off and pick up the rental. Fingers crossed this happens today and we can get everything tilled so I can spend the next days planting and getting everyone in the freaking ground. Feels like one of those cant win for losing kind of seasons.

There are always moments when I get overwhelmed sometimes many times a day and there are even times when I question why am I trying to do this. Why am I trying to have a micro-farm when I have a full time job why am I torturing myself? I cant answer that I really cant I just know that even as frustrated as I get and upset and worried and stressed this little enterprise called 3 Dogs Barking Farms makes me very happy. Maybe its being part of a community of people that think one of the ways to solve the myriad of problems the world faces is by growing food, maybe its the sense of accomplishment you get when you grow something from seed to table, or maybe its the zen like comfort of getting your hands in the soil. I don't know whatever it is it works for me.

Well so far it works for me we will see how the rest of the season goes with this whacky weather. But maybe the weather has always been whacky and you just don't really notice until it means something to you. I don't know how many times I day I now check noaa.gov and I even bought myself a rain gauge. Trying to grow stuff you find yourself geeking out over the weather and then you read everyone else's posts and status updates and you realize you are not alone and are in good company. Back to needing patience when growing food you can have all your plans written down or in your head or in spreadsheets you can have time frames time lines charts graphs but your plans don't really matter when it comes to mother nature and  the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune okay okay too dramatic basically cant control when your tiller breaks.

But I do love doing this I love the planning (I really love the planning), I love writing this blog and taking pictures of progress and even pictures of failures (always some of those), I love having my hands and sometimes other limbs in the dirt, I love watching things grow, I don't really like harvesting its hard work but it kind of has to get done or whats the point right, and I kind of don't mind weeding except when all you can see is weeds and you start to cry.  I even love how hard it is I have a little speech I give myself I say "be strong to survive" borrowed from last of the mohicans. Not sure why but it strengthens my resolve to finish what I am doing. I know I am a geek.