Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Thoughts on growing up and old.

My dish was messed up this weekend so I had to go to my ipad to watch a little boob tube. I choose to catch up on the HBO show "Girls" for fun. I kind of thought because the show is about twenty somethings I wouldn't really be able to relate to it in a present I am 45 sense although I knew it would bring back plenty of memories of my twenties. But I was very surprised how the themes and variations of the show resonate with me still today. Well except the part where everyone has sex with everyone and anyone all the time. That still doesn't happen to me.

So many themes.....creativity and being an artist who really is an artist and should the rest of us pick up the tab?  Just because you want to be an artist does it mean you shouldn't have to support yourself until you can make it doing whatever art it is you want to do? If your dream is not sustainable and you end up allowing others to enable you by helping you is that right? How important is being authentic to yourself and others in achieving your goals?

What do you want to be when you grow up? Man I am still wrestling with this one but the thing I am figuring out is you never really grow up so don't freak out you don't know what you want to do just do want you want now and figure the rest out later. Now this is really freeing for me I love that it just opens up endless possibilities of re-inventing yourself and your dreams. I think we all get stuck in this shoe box starting when you are young when we get questioned at a young age so little jimmy what do you want to be when you grow up. I always wanted to answer how the bleep should I know I am six and besides the only options I could come up was principal dancer with the American Ballet Theater or a jockey. Both extremely improbable but hey I was just a kid.

To be honest I have never known what I wanted to do and maybe I never will. I took a finding meaning in your life quiz the other day and I came up with two passions in my life one is growing food and the other is cooking. So then a light bulb went off in my head and said well maybe one day I will combine the two to create business along the lines of "from my garden to your table" and start a catering company. I brought this up casually last night at dinner with my parents and my mother immediately said what a great idea and apparently my dad made a face which my mother called him out on. So I said don't worry mom that's just the face Dad makes when I mention leaving corporate America. She said oh I thought it was his beer.

What have I taken away from the show so far? Always use a condom, people are complicated some more than others, artist are usually major narcissists, I should have had more sex in my twenties I let problems with my body image hold me back, no matter your age its okay to reinvent yourself and find new dreams. Never growing up in the popular sense of the phrase is a good thing.

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