Sunday, October 25, 2015

Right thing for the right reason but still a heavy heart.

Few out the back window. This will be hard to leave.

So much going on right now I am finding it hard to distill into words on a page. We close on the new house tomorrow. Part of me is really excited about it. I think this town will be a good fit for us and the house is adorable and just the right size with a nice big back yard for the dogs but I am struggling with leaving the country and my land. I love my land i love every square inch of it. The house is too big and too much work and I know I have to sell it not to only right my own economic ship but for the house's sake as well. It needs work and love that I cant give it in time to really save it. So as much as I know I am doing all the right things for all the right reasons my heart is breaking to leave my land. I gave my high tunnel away to a very deserving and hard working farmer who has enough troubles for a whole town full of people and as much as that felt great to finally be able to help the farmer out it hurt too. That was the place my high tunnel where I first learned how to grow vegetables in winter. But it wont fit in my new yard and as I have been farming less and less I really didn't need it. Again right thing to do for the right reasons but still hurts.

You would think that if you are doing the right thing for the right reasons in the best way you can that your heart would be light (I almost said and your future bright but I threw up in time to stop myself). I think this would be easier if we sold our present house before moving to a new one. But unfortunately that hasn't happened but I think this house will show better and hopefully sell empty without all of our stuff and four cats and two dogs and one messy husband in it. Fingers crossed. So a clean start might have been easier but its not in the cards. On the upside I can take what I want and need to the new house and have Frank the junk guy come get the rest. Nice thought that is. Clean start. I would say clean slate but as much I would like to say with moving you can start over but you never really do because unfortunately you bring yourself.

Trying to get my head around living near people again right now the nearest house is about a 1/4 mile away and in 11 years I have never met them. Funny the other day I was thinking about people where I live who I would want to tell that we were moving and I came up with a very short list. Okay every day I waive hello to a guy I pass on my way to work. I got upset thinking that I would just one day not drive bye anymore and was contemplating telling him i was moving so he wouldn't wonder where I was. The two ladies at Stewart's who are nice to me oh and my favorite is the dump master ruler of the town dump. Now you do notice the theme here right? These handful of people that might miss me or vice versa I do not know their names or can never remember them. How sad is that?  In my defense I really do live in the middle of nowhere but really that's all you got to show for community in 11 years.  Ouch now again in our defense we have had friends here come in and out of our lives but right now all I got is the two ladies at Stewart's the dump master and the guy trying to get in shape on my way to work.  Yes this is a main reason we are living the country and moving to town.

But it will still be tough for me I am used to being able to do whatever I want yell at the dogs chase chickens in my underwear listen to music as loud as I want and now I am going to have to learn how to behave myself in public again. Not to mention my dogs they (no fault of their own) are completely lawless. We drove to the new house today to look at it and my dog Booker has this thing that every time we go for a ride which he loves he has to take a poop. So he makes this certain kind of whine and I know its time to poop. So I usually pull over some where strange or in a store parking lot so he can poop. So anyway today I was like well we are in the area he can poop at the new house. But I grabbed the wrong leash and off he went chasing the soon to be neighbors cat. One of the only ways to get him back is to drive after him and beep the horn and then he remembers he loves the car so he usually comes running which he did thank goodness. But I don't even live there yet and I am already being loud and embarrassing. One of the first agendas is getting the dogs trained enough to be somewhat civilized wish me luck. I will try to do it myself but I think I will end up hiring a trainer. But my dogs usually surprise me being better than I think they are.
new house in town

Booker on the left looking innocent and Lulu looking out the window. I love my dogs.

1 comment:

  1. We can't even see the road from our house and I think it would be hard if I had to move to town. I may forget and piss in the yard and get arrested. I know what you are feeling.