Friday, August 21, 2015

Snakes on a plane or in this case in a car.

So as you guessed from the title strange things happen to me sometimes. So yesterday driving home from work heading north on I-87 in the left hand land doing about 72 or so and I look to the left of the wheel and there is a freaking snake looking back at me. Yes you read correctly a freaking snake. Now luckily I am not a very dramatic person for instance I would never get on a game show I show excitement with a slight smile you would probably never see me jump for joy or scream with excitement just not me. But seeing the snake did cause me to yelp and put my hand to my throat. Why do you think we do that what good is putting your hand to your throat? Is it maybe a gut instinct to always protect your throat? Why don't we pat the top of our heads or make some other gesture?

My first thought is I must capture the snake who by this point I have named Stan and I look at him and go dude nowhere for me to pull over you are coming home with me I guess. Now I have a checkered past with capturing or herding animals I like to think I am really good at it but if I am honest with myself I usually end up doing more harm then good. The farmer who used to own the land around my house actually kept dairy cows on it and sometimes they would escape. I would get all excited and run out to help and invariably I would end up sending them in the opposite direction and about a mile away. But I always loved the drama of being out there with the big ladies of milk. Luckily the farmer never witnessed me trying to "help". Shhhh.

Okay so back to Stan the snake so I stop at an ATM to get some cash out and I find a nice area where I think Stan could survive and take a straw and try and edge him towards the window or me so I can grab him. No such luck he disappears into the workings of my Honda and I drive off figuring well if Stan got himself into the Honda hopefully he can get himself out. It briefly occurred to me that someone planted Stan so I would have a heart attack when he showed himself or I would cause a huge pile up on the highway. But then it occurred to me that number one I am not afraid of snakes and number two you would probably have to find a slightly larger snake. So with the conspiracy theories fading fast I start to drive home and I even turned off the air conditioning figure Stan probably likes heat vs cold. He did give me another scare when he dangled from the roof off the car again I gasped and reached for my throat. He hid again at the sound of my gasp never to be seen again. I assume he got back out the way he came.

So long Stan happy trails to you.

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