Up early and in a strange mood.

Woke up early for me today. Well I woke up really early then spent some fruitless time trying to go back to sleep. Two dogs on either side of me and a cat sitting on my hip for good measure but it wasn't meant to be the wheels started to turn in my brain and I knew it useless.

I'm usually pretty groggy in the morning I am more of a night owl but for some reason today I feel really good maybe it was that late night combination of melatonin xanax and my statin that made me sleep like a baby and wake up feeling refreshed (I had a very strange panic attack right before bed last night). I would talk about what I think set that attack off but I am not in the mood to delve quite that deep into the past. Although it could be a ton of things my house not selling and now being priced just about 100 g's less than what I bought it for my husband having some problem with his brain and basically reverting to being a very large child that falls down a lot or hell who knows maybe it was just things from the distant past reminding me that there are things still be dealt with a one day and hopefully put to bed.

Okay I meant to write a short piece about my new town and one of the many many things I love about it is that magnificent nature is bam right there. The picture above was taken from the parking lot of the dollar store. I mean how many dollar stores come with a view like this? It blows me away every time. I might not live in the gorgeous green hills in the middle of a 200 acre dairy farm anymore but the the view from here ain't too shabby.  I like the juxtaposition of the urban and the wild. And yes I like when I get to use juxtaposition. Its the well aren't I just too smart for words snarky little bitch inside me bringing out the big words.  Yes I like to make fun of myself too I try to not let myself get away with too much bullshit. Not always successful but its something I like to keep an eye on.

A farmer no more.

This is a picture of my new backyard. I like my new backyard it just happens to be about an acre or so smaller than my last backyard. This is the first year since 2011 that I wont be attending my organic farming conference this is the first year I have to admit I am no longer a farmer. Not that I was every really a real farmer anyway I basically just grew vegetables in my backyard and sold them at the office and a farmers market. But the USDA does classify anyone who makes a grand a year a farmer so I guess maybe for a few of those years I qualified if I fudge the numbers a bit. I loved being a little farmer it was the first time since the early eighties where I was heavily into punk rock (black mohawk and all) that I felt part of something larger than everyday life.

Big Big Vegetable garden in old yard.

I loved going to market on saturday mornings it was like a game show....waking up at first light tearing outdoors sometimes in my pajamas to pick the vegetables that I like to pick the same day going through the riggers of cleaning drying and packing them all up. Fitting them into my suv and then leaping into the shower and driving like a maniac stopping at Stewarts to get coffee and make sure I had enough small bills to make change. The first customer always showed up with a twenty and you had to be prepared. Racing to your allotted spot setting up the table and umbrella making the vegetable offering look as yummy as possible set the prices and then of course wait for the first customers to show up. It really was like a game show about 4 hours or work condensed into maybe two.

Trying to be a market farmer on top of a full time job and a lengthy commute proved to finally be too much for me. In the beginning I thought Tommy would get really into it and be a major part of the operation but he didnt take to it like I did and the majority of the work fell to me. So spring summer and fall had me getting home from work going out to weed and plant and weed weed weed then or course make dinner and go to bed. I did just prove to be too much paired with I was barely breaking even so when we started to think about moving I finally had to call it quits. So today instead of sitting in a class on permaculture or how to grow mushrooms I am sitting here at my kitchen table dreaming of spring.

The first seed catalogs have arrived and my garden in my little yard above is starting to take shape in my mind.  I love this time of year its the time of year where everything in your minds eye is perfect there are now weeds no insects and no disasters. Its all yet to be and thats nice. And as Bill Mollison says in this quote below growing even a portion of your own food is an act of rebellion. I like acts of rebellion remember the mohawk? I especially like when something is a rebellion but you would do it anyway it just makes it even better.

“The greatest change we need to make is from consumption to production, even if on a small scale, in our own gardens. If only 10% of us do this, there is enough for everyone. Hence the futility of revolutionaries who have no gardens, who depend on the very system they attack, and who produce words and bullets, not food and shelter.” 

So I might no longer be a farmer but I still will hopefully have a nice large victory garden an grow some righteous vegetables and of course get a little healthier in the process too. I gained 10 lbs since I stopped farming and since I was already chubby those pounds need to come back off. So now that even adds to the argument to grow your own food. Its bettter for you its good exercise and you can give the finger in a small way to corporate america. Im in!

a good haul on market day.

Good vs Evil, today was a good day and may the force be with you...always.

I know the picture has nothing to do with the story but I recently downloaded 500 pics or so from my Camera and I like this one from Cohasset MA a year or so ago. 

What a pleasant start to the new year was today.

Slept in till 9:30 with Tommy letting the dogs out at six so they could come back to bed for what I call "schnuggles" not sure where I got that from maybe a mix between snuggle and cuddle but whatever it is I can yell it and they will come running. The schnuggles are one of the many things that keep me sane.

Made a cup of coffee and tried to figure out a place to go to breakfast but it was either too late or things were a brunch which was out of budget so I offered Tommy a compromise I will got to the market get fixings for breakfast and then we will go to the movies. He being a wise man took me up on the offer and to the market I went, breakfast made and eaten.

Now the movie I wanted to see was the new Star Wars. Okay I was 7 when the first one came out and my mom somehow arranged to take the whole neighborhood thus changing the lives of many young people forever. So needless to say the original trilogy is yes HUGE to me. This i have kept a secret of late not talking about it not seeming excited about it honestly I tried to keep myself from even knowing about it less I get too excited and then disappointed when another sham with jar jar binks or whatever was unleashed on me. But I cautiously read the reviews and when I heard that critics were move to tears I said okay maybe this wont be corny maybe this will be okay.

Good news the closest movie theater albeit in a different state was only 15 miles or so away and a beautiful 15 miles at that. I felt bad when we got there because I lost patience with Tommy for not being able to not fall down. Now my poor husband has a brain problem right now with too much cerebral fluid on the old noggin and some days are better than others and some days when he tries to walk he honestly looks like hes drunk as a skunk. As humans I think we all have that thing that thing that is our downfall the thing that leads to our weakest moments as humans and mine well mine is I hate to be embarrassed in front of large crowds of people I don't know. So we we entered the movie theater and tommy started doing his whole arms windmilling going to knock and old lady down routine I basically stood him up against a wall and said stay.Oh the looks I got some of what a bitch some with pity and so on. I swear I need to get him or maybe us tshirts his can say "I'm not drunk I have a brain problem" and mine can say "I'm with a tbi instead I'm with stupid".

Anyway popcorn and soda and seats all happened without further ado the movie was more than I expected and I can honestly say if I was alone I would have cried like a freaking baby. But i felt vindicated when i saw the guy in front of me who was probably my age wipe the tears from his face when Han appears. To see those beloved characters again without it being campy and sad was more than I hoped for. It was magical to be taken back into that story in such a right way. And then it turns out the bad guy is played by Adam by FAVORITE character in "Girls". So needless to say I was in heaven. Cant wait to go with my Mom its a movie she needs to see in the theater.

Now part of me said well its the same story over and over again but isn't it always? These stories of good vs evil are told endless times endless different ways and have to be one of the main archetypes of the human experience. So i say keep telling that damn story and its okay if evil wins here and there just make sure every once and awhile good kicks some freaking butt.

We followed this all up with dinner at the Burger Den. Sometimes life is good and yes I am too paranoid right now to just type life is good because the moment to do something will happen tomorrow that well make me regret my words. Geez thats sad.