Sunday, December 15, 2013
I confess the xmas spirit is eluding me.
I have to admit although I feel glimpses of Xmas spirit for the most part it is eluding me. I get flashes of it but they disappear as fast as they appeared. I thought the snow would help that fell last night a surprising foot or so. But no not really. Let the dogs out without their leads this morning figuring the foot of snow would at least slow Booker the dachshund down but the little shit quickly figured out that if he ran out the road which had been plowed the going would be much easier. Well he was right so off he and Lulu went with fat me wheezing and yelling behind them. Luckily the road was deserted with the weather and they eventually tired themselves out and came to me. I really need to train these two yup really I do. A least I got a nice walk/run in one I wasn't prepared for but a little exercise cant hurt.
We were worried that the plow guy wouldn't show up (since we kind of couldn't remember who our plow guy was) but he did and me being an idiot had left both cars parked completely randomly in the driveway making his job pretty much impossible I also managed to leave a brand new 50lb bag of chicken feed out next to my car like a doofus and yes it was opened. I really didn't think this storm out at all besides making sure the chickens were all taken care of yesterday. I guess I stopped at that chore and didn't think about it again but that's what happens to me when you are always warning me of the impending storm of doom cry wolf too many times and I stop paying attention. Imagine my surprise today when I stepped out into the snow that came to my knees.
It wasn't long before both Tommy and I got a case of cabin fever so we loaded the pups into the car and took off to go find some incense and then I thought well if the snow didn't bring on some Xmas spirit maybe buying a tree will. Now I really wanted to buy a tree locally but time was running out so I baled on being a good person and went to Home Cheapo. Took about 30 seconds and the tree was in the car. Now for a little background info my husband Tommy did not have the idyllic fairy tale childhood I did and frankly the whole Xmas thing is something he just doesn't really get or feel. He said to me yesterday that I just don't understand that he doesn't feel it and that I keep trying to change him into me. I don't think that is really the case I think I keep hoping that after being with me for 12 years and being safe would help to chase some of the past away but I guess the past holds on too tight sometimes. But I am not going to give up hope nope I'm not.
So now the tree is sitting in the stand crookedly and neither of us have the gumption to do anything about it. Hopefully I will it would be silly to get a tree spend the money and they let it set there staring at you. Tommy already made me cry about spending the money on the tree which made me so sad. But hell its not Xmas if you haven't cried yet right? He is not as his best at this time of year and his mean streak shows itself from time to time. One year he made me sign a contract that I would have the tree taken down by new years in order to get a tree. I almost didn't even bother this year but I couldn't quite give up the hope that the spirit of the season would find me and I would be sad without a tree. Hope it does.